I started with good intentions for the semester. I set myself some hard goals to keep moving forward in the areas I love (see the unfortunately flopped Tea House Trials), but I had some unexpected harder commitments. This is when I started to have trouble getting everything done. But I wouldn’t stop saying yes.
Several people tried to warn me about doing too much at once. My mom told me to cut out some commitments, but I wanted to stay in everything to be consistent. Some friends told me I wasn’t looking well (not harshly, but worried for my health). I ignored them. I had the choice to say no to more commitments, to stop working for a while, to rest rather than try to have the best grade. But I chose to say yes to more and more, rather than saving yes for the most important things.
This revealed a greater heart problem than being too busy. I realized thatI wanted satisfaction from what I could do, rather than from Jesus.This theme was made clear to me in Hebrews. The book shows how Jesus is above everyone from angels to Moses. It shows how Jesus is highly exalted above all things. Then, Hebrews 13:5 says: Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself [Jesus] has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” If the Lord of all was not enough for me, I was missing His character. When I chose to glorify work rather than God, I was putting my satisfaction in what I could do, rather than the Lord I served. I was worshiping work.
This is how I want to grow. I want to honor the Lord by saying no to over commitment that harms my health and steals my time from everything else. I want to be satisfied in Jesus, not in what I can do. So moving forward, my prayer is to see Jesus as ever more valuable and satisfying. Work is a gift, but the Lord is the Giver (James 1:16-18). And He is far more satisfying.