2017: Goals and Blog Changes

Since 2017 is upon us, I decided to try something new. I love challenges, but I’ve never completed a yearlong challenge before (I’ve only tried one, and I failed.) So here are five challenges I’m trying in 2017:

    1. A reading challenge. When I saw the 2016 Popsugar Reading Challenge at the library, I thought it was a great idea for finding new books and authors. Popsugar has a list of 40 book criteria (e.g., a book recommended by a librarian, or a book written by someone with a disability). Here’s the 2017 version that I’m doing: http://www.popsugar.com/love/Reading-Challenge-2017-42561300. My parents and my sister Sarah are also doing this one, and Christina is doing her own reading challenge. 
    2. Writing every day. This is largely to help me be more consistent with my blogging and journaling. I was originally going to write 100 words every day, but my mom recommended writing a paragraph instead of shooting for a word count because I wouldn’t be tempted to use filler words.
    3. Anne’s Earworms. My sister Sarah invented this brilliant title. I love music, and I’m trying to find new music to enjoy, so I decided to write about the music that I find and enjoy, because other people might be interested in it. I’m going to continue my normal posts on Saturdays and post the Earworms on Wednesdays. This is the challenge that I’m most nervous about, because I’ve never written about my musical tastes, and I’m insecure about the fact that I don’t know tons of music. But I think it will be awesome to talk to my blog buddies about the music I love.
    4. The Bible in a Year. I’m following one of the methods Don Whitney recommends in his book, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life (Great book, if you’re interested). I’m starting in three different places in the Bible (Genesis, Job and Matthew) and reading three chapters every day, and five on Sundays. I tried to do this once before and failed, but I’m hoping that I can stay dedicated to it better this time with more accountability.
    5. Audible. I’ve never been a huge audiobooks fan, but I think they could be a cool tool for me, especially now that I’m in college. Our family has an Audible subscription, so I’m going to try it for a year. This probably won’t be as hard as some of the other challenges, but I thought it would be helpful for my future reading life (especially since I’m learning to drive, and I can’t read while driving). I’m especially excited about this one since I started listening to podcasts and enjoying them.

Because I want to keep you up to date, I will write about how my challenges are going on the last Saturday of each month. I’m pumped to try new things in 2017, and I’m especially excited about blogging. How are you going to challenge yourself in 2017? Let me know in the comments.
If you want to see my mom’s reading challenge, go here

 

How to Make a Comeback

This week, I was in a panic. I was behind in my music practice and in my Bible goals, and I was tired of people but I wanted to hang out with our family who was in town. By Wednesday night, I was having a mental breakdown. In the middle of my panic session, I began thinking: When I’ve gotten stuck in a panicky rut in the past, how have I gotten out of it? By the end of Thursday, I had decided on four steps:

 

Step 1: Calm down. When I get into a frenzy, I lost my ability to focus on a solution. I started panicking about what I haven’t done, instead of doing something. Until I calmed down to think, I got into a vicious cycle of “I’m-a-terrible-person” syndrome and not doing anything productive. Here are a couple of things that help me calm down:

  • Prayer. Until I turn my problems over to God, I keep failing, simply because I’m trying to do everything myself. I believe that asking Him for guidance on Wednesday helped me find a solution on Thursday.
  • Unplugging. This is one that I need to work on. While watching a bunch of YouTube videos helps make me forget my problems for a while, it really just suspends my panic, making it much worse when I realize how much time I’ve wasted watching funny videos.
  • Realizing that the problem is solvable. The problem may be hard, but it’s not impossible. Once you’re calm, you can actually start fixing the problem.

 

Step 2: Evaluate the problem. Sometimes the problem isn’t as bad as you think. Sometimes it’s worse than you think. If you have a big jumble of problems, try writing them down. Once you force yourself to identify the problems, you can see which ones you can fix, and which ones are beyond your control. On Thursday, I made a mental list of my problems, and forced myself to break down each one:

Behind on music practice: My goal was to practice 45 minutes each on piano and violin for 5 days each week. This week, I have done exactly 0 minutes of that practice time. It is frustrating that my music practice time isn’t where I want it to be, but I need to understand that we’ve had guests in our house for several weeks, and family time takes priority over music during break. So, I should work on getting back into my practice routine, but not feel guilty and depressed over the past week.

Failure at Bible goals: I’m several days behind on my one verse a day goal for December. Because I committed to finishing the book Thirty-One Verses to Write on Your Heart this month, I should make a plan not just to continue, but to get caught up on my plan. Also, since I’m starting a new Bible reading plan in January (spoiler from next week’s post), I need to finish the current plan I’m on.

Needing alone time but wanting to be with people: I don’t need to be alone all the time, I just need a break. My family won’t be mad if I need a little time to recharge.

 

Step 3: Decide what needs to change going forward. Some things need to be added. Even though I might not be able to complete my practice goal, I still need to spend some time practicing. Some things need to be removed for a while (or permanently). I spend too much time on YouTube (a battle I’ve been fighting for a while), so maybe I need to take a break from spending time on YouTube at all.

Once you know what needs to be done, make a plan to do it. Your plan should be as specific as you need. Without a plan, I tend to work very hard to get nothing done. While making your plan, don’t lose sight of what you can actually do. I love to challenge myself (hence several of my posts are challenges for myself), but I tend to grossly overestimate my time and energy levels. Michael Hyatt has a great podcast on goal setting which has helped me. Here’s a link.

My plan looks like this:

  • Take a morning to recharge and get caught up on some of your goals. Write your blog post for Saturday, continue the post you’re writing ahead for the end of the year. Finish the next three chapters in your Bible study plan. Memorize four verses. Enjoy time with your family in the afternoon.
  • Go to bed no later than 10:30 tonight, and use your early morning tomorrow to continue with your Bible goals (memorize verse of the day and continue Bible plan). Then you can spend time with your family, while still having time memorizing Scripture.
  • Take a break from all YouTube videos for the weekend. As much fun as they are, they’re not helping me get anything done.

Once you’ve gotten started on your plan, make a commitment to continue it for a certain about of time. Otherwise, you end up with dramatic bursts of productive energy with no direction.

 

Step 4: Start doing it. Even though it’s fun to sit around planning, nothing will change if you don’t do the work. Once you have your plan, immediately follow it. This morning (Friday), I only came downstairs for breakfast. I spent my morning writing this post (blog post inception!), practicing music, reviewing Bible verses, and enjoying some time without extra input. I didn’t get everything done, but I made much more progress than if I had done nothing.

 

When you’re stuck in a rut, it can be easy to panic, or to ignore your problems and hope they go away. The good news is that you’re not alone, and you’re not hopeless. If you’re stuck in a rut, try these four steps, and see if they help you get back on track with your goals. And if you think I missed a step, let me know in the comments section. I would love to hear your advice on making a comeback!

Online Encourager Challenge

“Liz Curtis Higgs tweeted me back!” I told whoever I thought would listen. I had tweeted about Liz Curtis Higgs’ book 31 Verses to Write on Your Heart, and she responded. She just thanked me for reading her books. She had no way of knowing that her tweet would make my day (and my week). And yet, it did.

When I told my older sister, she mentioned how small things like a tweet can encourage someone’s day. I realized that a lot of the things that I think of as huge encouragements to me were actually small things that people used to tell me “I care about you, and I like what you’re doing.” I’m starting to see the internet less as a “necessary fact of life,” and more as a tool. Little encouragements can transform someone’s day, and the internet is a great way to give little encouragements, even to people that I don’t know well.

Because I realized this, I decided to challenge myself. For the next 20 days, I will encourage someone online. If you want to try it with me, here are some ideas:

  • Leave a comment. Tell a blogger whose writing you love how much you appreciate their hard work making quality content. Since I started blogging, I realized how much a nice comment can completely lift a blogger’s day. Even though it takes less than a minute to write, it means a lot.
  • Try emailing from their “contact” page, and encourage them. This can be a good alternative to commenting if you don’t have a specific post that helped you.
  • Tweet someone. Just like the Liz Curtis Higgs incident, a tweet can make someone’s week. Plus, it shows your followers cool people that they might want to follow.
  • Send them a personal Birthday message. A friend that I didn’t know very well sent me a really nice message on Facebook on my Birthday, and this meant far more than a plain “Happy Birthday!” on my timeline, because he took the time to make the message personal. This inspired me to think more about Birthday messages online.

Try encouraging people online with me for 20 days. You may be surprised by the difference it makes in someone’s life. If you decide to try it, let me know in the comments how you’re going to encourage someone for day 1. You can do this!

An Open Letter to My Music Teacher

This has been harder to write than I thought. I thought that since I had so much to say, saying it would be easy. I was wrong. Even so, I will try.

When I first came to lessons, I didn’t speak much. I didn’t even want to come to them, because I was scared of new things. Over time, however, I started loving lessons, instead of dreading them. My passion for piano grew and overshadowed many things in my life. I spent hours practicing, stressing over pieces, and loving the panic. When we took a break from piano lessons, I expected to miss the music, which I expected. I found myself missing you too, which I didn’t expect. Our break wasn’t long, but I realized that I loved music lessons not just because of music, but because of your attitude.

You have a contagious outlook towards life. I almost always left my lesson encouraged, not only about practicing, but about my family, my relationships with other people, and other skills I was learning. You were patient with me when my practicing wasn’t sufficient, and with many I-didn’t-practice-enough-please-forgive-me tears. You helped me when I decided to try something new, like teaching students or arranging mashups. You encouraged me when I started playing music with other people (which eventually led to talking to people). You are far more than “just a music teacher.”

Thank you for being kind and encouraging. I thought that this would be an easy post to write, because I could spend hours writing about your good qualities. I love being around you. You inspire me. Your house is one of my favorite places to be, because you are there. I didn’t realize that the hardest part is deciding what not to say, because I have much to say about you, and only a short post to say it.  You have shaped me so as a musician and as a person that I don’t know what my life would look like without you. You are a huge part of my life, and I hope that I know you for a long time.

With exceeding joy,

Anne Mary Russell

Four Blogs I Love to Read

Even though I write on a blog every week, I don’t read tons of blog posts. I do, however, have several blogs that I follow. Here are four blogs that I enjoy reading:

  1. Currently Kelli. Currently Kelli is a daily blog project about Kelli Taylor’s life. Kelli is part of the YouTube channel Blimey cow, and I found Currently Kelli after seeing a blimey cow video which mentioned it. She writes about her daily life, and her goals. She has a specific kind of post for (like Twitter Tuesday, or Friday Favorites) I love her blog because it’s personal and creative. She has a predictable format, but she makes each post special. My favorite post from Currently Kelli is a “Wordless Questionnaire;” Here’s a link.
  2. Gracie the Ginger. This blog is written by my friend, Victoria Grace. I had only been writing on this blog for a few months when she mentioned starting a blog, and I was excited to look it up. Her blog features writing and public speaking tips, and talks about her life. I love reading her posts on writing especially, because they are professional, and help me improve my own writing. Here’s my favorite post on Gracie the Ginger.
  3. Blackberry Morning. I discovered this blog in a YouTube video (I guess this is a pattern for me). Sara gives information about food and baking, essential oils and healthy living, and talks about some of her life experiences. I like her blog because it gives interesting information in a casual voice. Sara is writing about things she loves, and it makes her writing fun to read. I especially love her posts on health and beauty, so here’s a link.
  4. Theolatte. This blog is written by Dan DeWitt, former Dean of Boyce College and current professor at Cederville University. He writes about worldview issues, and publishes a “Weekly Worldview Reader” with articles that he finds featuring worldview issues. His writing is clear, and fun to read. Click here to read his review of the movie Inside Out, the first blog post I read of his, and still one of my favorites:

There are four blogs that I love to read. What blogs do you like to read?

The MBTI: Pigeon-Holing My Life

For several years, I was obsessed with personality tests. I was just starting to meet people, and it was easier for me to process social situations if I could put people in categories. I still enjoy personality tests, but I don’t spend as much time studying them. The personality test that I like the most is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). According to the MBTI, there are 16 personality types, based on four pairs of letters. To find your type, you can pick the one in each letter pair that fits you best. (everyone is a mixture, so just pick whichever one is stronger).

The first pair of letters is I (Introversion), and E (Extroversion). Introverts get tired from social interaction. They don’t dislike social interaction necessarily. Extroverts tend to get energy from social interactions, but they still need alone time.

The second pair of letters is N (Intuiton) and S (Sensing). Intuitives tend to be philosophical, and rely on gut instinct. They like to “read between the lines.” Sensors tend to be practical, and rely on evidence.

The third pair of letters is T (Thinking), and F (Feeling). The Myers-Briggs website explains them this way: “When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at people and special circumstances? This is called Thinking (T) or Feeling (F).”

The final pair of letters is J (Judging), and P (Perceiving). J’s tend to be planned, while P’s tend to be spontaneous. Judgers like to solidify plans, while Perceivers want to keep their schedules open.

After you decide which of each letter pair fits you best, stick them together to get your type. (I’m an INTJ, if you’re interested). Since this isn’t a long blog post, I’m not going to describe each type in detail here.

After I had been studying the MBTI for a while, I realized that I was giving it too much credit. I started to understand that personality types don’t define people. Sure, I’m a INTJ, but that doesn’t mean I must fit into all of the INTJ stereotypes. My type is not responsible for my actions, I am. I realized that the Myers-Briggs is a lot of fun to study, as long as I kept it in perspective.

If you want to learn more about the MBTI, click here. To take a full-length test, go here.

Go forth, and study other people!

 

What Goes In (My Commitment to You)

What goes in comes out. When you eat junk food for breakfast, you may enjoy it for a few minutes, but your body doesn’t perform as well. You end up sluggish and tired. When you listen to stupid music, you find yourself thinking more and more like the stupid lyrics you fill yourself with.

When I was thinking about what to write today, I was frustrated because I had nothing to say. I tried to think of something helpful, or inspirational, or even just fun, but I had nothing. I tried to write about a couple different subjects that I’ve been thinking about lately, but my thoughts were jumbled and circular.

In the midst of my frustration, I realized that I hadn’t read the Bible at all today, or even thought about it much. I realized that I didn’t have anything worthwhile to say, because I hadn’t put anything worthwhile in my mind. As I thought back to my older posts, I realized that my best posts came from times when I had been consistently filling my mind with Scripture. The times that I didn’t study or meditate on Scripture were usually followed with me staring at an empty document.

So, here is my commitment to you. Today is November 19th, 2016. For the next year, I commit to reading and studying the Bible before I do anything else each morning (eat, take a shower, check my social media, etc.). I’m making this commitment because I think that studying God’s word should be more important to me than taking a shower or checking social media working on music, and because I want to give you quality content that comes from a heart that’s filled with good content.

Ironically, I decided to read Psalm 19 (because today’s the 19th). This passage confirmed what I had been thinking about for the past few minutes:

The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul;
The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;
The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;
The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;
The judgements of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold,
Yea, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
Moreover by them Your servant is warned,
and in keeping them there is great reward.

How are you going to commit to filling yourself with Scripture?

Becoming Friendly (Part 2)

This is part two of my post on becoming friendly. Here is part one, if you’re interested.

***

I continued my internship in the spring, and took a few more classes at Boyce. My thoughts toward people had changed, but my skill set was still limited. I tried to talk to people more, but I was awkward. I did make a few friends during the spring semester, but I didn’t know how to get to know people that I wanted as friends. I enjoyed people, but I didn’t care about many of them.

My intern supervisor in the fall helped me care more about people. He challenged me to learn the names of all of the people in orchestra (which was about twelve people). At this time, I struggled to remember people’s names, and I had given up trying to learn them. This challenge helped me a lot. First, I had a lot more confidence talking to people when I knew their names. Second, when I took the time to learn their names, they became more important to me.

I need to make a confession. As I began to meet new people, I hid behind Adam a lot. We went to some events and stuff together, and I made him be the friendly person so that I could not feel pressured to talk to people. The hiding finally stopped a piano camp this summer. I didn’t have any friends attending the camp as students, so I didn’t have any “human barriers.” It was really weird. I talked to people, performed a parody for their “talent show,” and had fun with strangers that became kind of friends.

Another thing that pushed me into being more “naturally friendly” was a concert that I did with some friends. I talk about this elsewhere on this blog, so I’ll skip it for now.

This semester, I decided to speak to new people when I first met them instead of waiting to feel less awkward. I tried to learn people’s names, which required me to re-ask them a lot. I realized that meeting people isn’t nearly as awkward if I talked to them right away.

As I’ve been pushed and pushed myself into being friendlier with other people, I’ve found more and more that people are amazing. I started talking to people out of necessity, but I talk to people now because I care about them. I want to know them better. However many awkward moments I have with people are far outweighed by the privilege of knowing people. I still have “people problems.” Right now, I’m trying to understand college cafeteria etiquette (I have tons of trouble just sitting down with people without asking). However, I feel more comfortable asking for people to be patient with me as I learn, because I’m building relationships with them.

Lesson time: If you’re reserved and shy, realize that people are worth the effort it takes to get to know them. If I can do this, you can do this! If you’re an outgoing person, please try to patient with your quiet friends. They may be trying really hard to get to know people, or they may have a lot of anxiety. The people that helped the most were the people who were friendly to me even when I was quiet or awkward.

Becoming Friendly (Part 1)

I wasn’t interested in other people. I thought they were boring compared to the music in my head and the book in my hand. Until about three years ago, I didn’t speak to people outside of my family. That’s why many of my posts are about getting to know people, or learning about how to treat people. I am learning things about others that other people learn much younger. This is the story of how I started talking to people, and learning how to be friendly.

***

About four years ago, I joined a biology group. There were only a few of us, and over time I started talking a little to the group. The other kids in the group invited me several times to a Bible study that they all attended. I was nervous, and didn’t want to go, but they kept asking until eventually I agreed. The leaders and the teenagers in the study, were friendly to me, but I barely spoke to anyone because I was so afraid of people.  I didn’t know how to talk to people without making the whole room uncomfortable, and I wasn’t brave enough to learn.

A few months after I started coming to the study, my family moved to a different church. It was a large church, and I didn’t know many people there.  A few of the kids from the Bible study went there, but I still avoided talking to them. When we first came to Highview, my mom encouraged me to serve in the tech ministry. I had run projection in our former church, so I agreed. The people in the tech booth were friendly and I started talking to them on Sundays as we served. This was one of the first places outside of my home that I felt like I was part of the team, and I enjoyed the people I was serving with there.

At this time I started attending a small group at Highview for girls my age. When I first started going to the small group, I went out of obligation to my church’s youth group. Like in the Bible study, all of the girls were nice, but I didn’t know how to build relationships with them.

After this, my family starting hosting “teen game nights” once a month. We invited the teenagers from Bible study, and some teens from a homeschool group over for games and snacks. We didn’t expect many people to show up, but forty people came the first night, and it continued to grow until we stopped hosting them. At one of the first game nights, a guy named Adam pulled out his violin and played the theme to Sherlock (a tv show that I was obsessed with). Right then I decided two things: I wanted to learn violin, and I wanted to be friends with this dude. This was one of the first times that I wanted to be friends with someone without them approaching me first, so I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. After a long build up, Adam and I became friends, and he has been a friend of our family ever since.

During the winter, I took my first class at Boyce, a J-term on C. S. Lewis. I was so shy that I barely spoke at all. My professor called me by the wrong name the whole class because I was too shy to correct him. But I was hooked, and in the fall, I started taking another class called SWME (Supervised Worship Ministry Experience).  A large part of this class was interning at a local church, and I chose our current church. I started playing in the orchestra (which was terrifying), and attending the weekly intern meetings (also terrifying). I can’t thank enough people for how friendly they were, but I would like to give a special thanks to Adam (not the same as violin-playing Adam), the orchestra conductor, for how friendly he was even though I was really shy and quiet.

This was also my second year in my small group. I made a weird discovery halfway through the semester. I realized that I loved the girls in the group. I looked forward to seeing them each Wednesday, and I thought about them throughout the week. I was amazed that my feelings of obligation had changed after I committed to going to the small group consistently. This was a turning point for me. I stopped wanting to know people because I had to meet them, and I started enjoying them. Not just the girls in my small group, but other people. Strangers. I started wanting to be friendly.

***

Because this is such a long post, I split it into two parts. Here is part two, if you’re interested.

My First Year of Voice Lessons

I recently celebrated my one year anniversary of taking voice lessons- I call it my Voiceiversary. Before I started voice lessons, I was afraid of singing in front of other people because I thought I sounded bad. Even though I wanted my voice to get better, I resisted taking voice lessons for a while because I was worried about my potential voice teacher being mean or scary. This was ridiculous—Ms. Amanda (my voice teacher) is one of the nicest, friendliest people I know.

As my form improved, so did my confidence. Ms. Amanda had me sing in “ridiculous ways” to make me less afraid of sounding bad, so I could sing more confidently. I realized that my voice didn’t sound nearly as terrible as I thought, and I became more comfortable singing in front of and with other people (this is how I started hanging out with several of my close friends).

Because I started playing music with and singing with other people, I got invited to perform in a concert with two of my buddies. (Here’s a link to our band page, if you’re interested). For the concert, I had to work on stage presence. I am an introvert and reserved, so being engaging on stage was hard for me. Through voice lessons (and some coaching from my mom), I learned I could use the fun that I already had as part of my personality, and “turn it on” to engage the people that I was entertaining. I didn’t have to fake my personality, I just chose which part of my personality to bring out more.  After the concert, I became friendlier in real life, without feeling pressured to be “an extrovert” or fake.

Voice lessons have helped my singing form a lot, but more importantly, they have helped me be engage other people better. I have loved the first year of voice lessons, and I’m looking forward to my second year.

Here is Amanda Clark’s Facebook page, if you are interested in great voice lessons: https://www.facebook.com/AmandaClarkVocalStudioKY/